What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Do you know what she said mum?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Why should we share our wife with others?

True - how I loved my mum!

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Why am I not attracted to masculine men? Why do I like more feminine attributes on a man?

What do you mean son?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

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My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

What! how could you do that?

What topics are okay with you in comics and what topics should be totally off the table?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Why would you think you're fit to be a model?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.